Pabst Blue Ribbon Brewery Up For Sale; Locally-Sourced, Artisanal Panic to Ensue


The Chicago Tribune is reporting that Dean Metropoulos, CEO of Hostess Brands, is looking to divest his company of their ownership stake in the brewery hipsters made famous: Pabst.

Yes, Pabst Blue Ribbon and its brewery are currently owned by Hostess. You would think a corporate association would make the beer something hipsters abhor, not embrace.

But you see, their predilection for Pabst has nothing to do with anything other than the fact that it’s cheap and hipsters are poor. They are a group which will very quickly forsake their values for a good deal, because hipsters are basically just Millennials wearing hats.

Hostess’s asking price is expected to be between $500 million to $1 billion, which means in all likelihood it will be snatched up by either MillerCoors or InBev and we will have to listen to hipsters lament (hipsters love lamenting) about how their brand sold out. To which you can tell them about the Hostess association, which they will dismiss because this is TOTALLY different.

Don’t you get it? You don’t get it.