The Panda Who Set A Record For Longest Sex Having Broke It Today By Having Sex Twice As Long
Hey guys! Happy Easter. I know we talked about panda sex earlier this week. And this must seem like more of the same.
But it’s not.
Because it’s about better, hotter, longer, more record-breaking sex.
Yep. Lu Lu, the Chinese panda who set the world record for longest sexual engagement this week, absolutely shattered his eight-minute performance over the weekend.
You know how the saying goes: “I fuck much better on the weekend.” From the Daily Mail:
Two giant pandas have set the record for the species’ longest mating session ever – 18 minutes and three seconds – at a research centre in China.
The record was made just hours after the male Lu Lu set the record of eight minutes with another partner
Their matchmaking was described as ‘quite successful,’ with them ‘mating naturally’.
Nice. But you realize how insane that is, right? That would be like Usain Bolt running a seven second hundred meter dash hours after setting the record in London. Like Michael Phelps swimming another 100 meter butterfly moments after inching out Milorad Cavic.
Impossible. But here Lu Lu is, fucking like a champ, for eighteen minutes straight.
What a Bro.