“I’m not like other girls, I could really care less about Valentine’s Day.”
Please, bros. Whatever you do, do not buy into this trap. I’ve made the mistake a few years back of actually believing words that came out of my girlfriend’s mouth, and on February 14th I was forced to clear the snorkel by myself on the couch.
Girls claim they don’t care about this manufactured holiday to come off as not basic, but girls are competitive creatures, and if they see Cindy Instagramming an 8-foot teddy bear from Chad, your ass is grass bruh. The irony is that all the feminists on my Facebook timeline suddenly turn spiteful when their boyfriend didn’t take the initiative to organize a horse and carriage ride around Central Park. Why can’t we ever be along for the ride on Valentine’s Day? Why are we always the ones doing all the disappointing? Is it still because we make 30 cents more an hour? Well that is all being spent on the egregiously priced pre fixe dinner this week. We’re even.
People are sharing the worst Valentine’s Day gifts they’ve ever received which makes me ponder what happened to that bullshit “It’s the thought that counts” mantra we were told growing up. God damnit ladies, you are complex beings.
[h/t Some eCards]