Alcohol will make a man see things he’s not actually seeing like ISIS in his living room or a boat full of saxophone players on his roof. I’ve been so drunk, I’ve seen all of that in just one night.
This guy shared a story in TIFU that proves alcohol will also make you miss seeing many things. Probably because you’re too busy being a drunk, pompous ahole.
I grew up with a ping pong table in my basement that I played often. Couple 2 older brothers that beat me mercilessly my entire childhood with slightly above average hand eye coordination, I have always been a decent ping-pong player. (I’ll never be great, as my go to paddle is a sandpaper hard paddle, and all the greats use soft paddles.
In my hometown there is a ping pong bar that has around 4 tables in the back. After a night out on the town, a few of us stumble into the bar around 1 A.M. By this point I was a few drinks deep and was at that “I AM AMAZING” point of inebriation. I grabbed a beer at the bar and went to the back where I started watching some guys play. As I scanned the tables, I looked for the guy that I disliked the most- and I found him. He was one of frattiest looking guy I’ve ever seen- Polo shorts, vineyard vines button down, croakies with Costas- the works. I immediately go up to him and asked if I could have winner.
It’s absolutely obvious this guy is going to win. His foreshadowing is sub par. But go on…
This guy was a good player, and he won his game handedly. I walk up to the table with drunk bravado and we begin to play. Like I said he was good, but I was in that immensely confident state of mind and proceeded to beat him fairly easily. He was incredibly gracious in defeat and even went and bought me a shot.
I however, was not gracious in my victory. I was very smug to him, and even when I took the shot he bought me I left with a level of cockiness that is unique to those who drunkenly think they are cooler than they actually are. I also talked some shit to him, which is totally unnecessary. As we walked outside, I couldn’t stop bragging about my victory to my friends. “Did you see me wreck that frat star? He thought he was hot shit but I ruined him. Damn, I should’ve gone pro out of High School” etc.
Ok so this is going to end “he kicked my ass” or “he was a cop” or “we ended up moving in together.” Something is going to happen to give this young man his comeuppance.
Well, one of my friends came up to me and said, “Hey, you realize that the guy you beat had only one hand right? You totally made an ass of yourself to someone who is physically handicapped and has a deformity he couldn’t help.” Damn it.
TL;DR: I drunkenly shamed a one-handed young man in a game of Ping Pong
Wrong. TL;DR: You got so drunk you didn’t notice a person was missing a hand.
[via Reddit]