Plane Forced To Make An Emergency Landing After Douchebag Roofied Himself And Tried To Kiss The Flight Attendants

I’m in the school of thought that air crimes, of any nature, should result in automatic jail time. I buy the in-flight WiFi for every flight so when we hit a patch of turbulence, I can email my mother that I love her and give her permission to do what she will with the $82 in my bank account. That anxiety cannot be compounded with some dickface who can’t handle his a concoction of cocaine, alcohol, xanax, and date-rape drug GHB.

But that’s what Jordan Fragiacomo, a 28-year-old barber from New York City, ingested on an Alaska Airlines flight from JFK to Seattle on Monday. Don’t ask me why he took the date rape drug, but if he took it to go fuck himself, I support his decision.

According to the New York Post, Jordan was speaking nonsensically and slurring his words before stealing drinks and headphones from other passengers. He then screamed that he wanted to “get off the flight” and ran to the emergency exit at the back of the plane and tried to rip the door open. He was unsuccessful.

Do you even lift bro?

After his failed attempt to open the emergency exit door, he attempted to kiss two female flight attendants. Believe it or not, they weren’t feeling it. Should have showed them that SICK Batman tattoo.

Several flight attendants and two off-duty pilots were able to finally restrain him, as the plane went in lockdown mode. The flight full of 180 people was forced to make an emergency landing in Minneapolis-St. Paul International Airport at 9:45 am.

“If you continue to restrain me, there’s going to be problems,” Jordan said during the scuffle.

As two uniformed officers boarded the plane and asked him for his ID, Jordan directed authorities to a website that shows him shirtless and offers his clients a hot shave “in the privacy of your own home.”

The below video was taken by a passenger as Jordan was handcuffed and taken off the plane.

Give him life without the possibility of parole.

[h/t NY Post]

Matt Keohan Avatar
Matt’s love of writing was born during a sixth grade assembly when it was announced that his essay titled “Why Drugs Are Bad” had taken first prize in D.A.R.E.’s grade-wide contest. The anti-drug people gave him a $50 savings bond for his brave contribution to crime-fighting, and upon the bond’s maturity 10 years later, he used it to buy his very first bag of marijuana.