In The Mood To Commit Some Crimes? Get Your Ass To This Town In Colorado, Where Every Cop Just Quit



Look, let’s be honest. Committing crimes is fun. The only reason we don’t do it all the gee dee time is because of the repercussions.

It’s crap if you ask me. Complete crap. Why must one be arrested for doing something illegal? Makes no damn sense.

If you feel the same way, Bros, then join me in hightailing it to Green Mountain Falls in Colorado, where there are no police.

That’s because the 700-person town’s entire force quit last week.

All four of them.

The mass resignation has been characterized as either a dispute with the town’s newly elected mayor or perfectly normal.

The resignations came the day before the mayor was set to be sworn in.

The town’s newly elected mayor, Jane Newberry, told the Colorado Springs Gazette that she didn’t learn about the resignations until an emergency meeting was held several days before she was sworn in. She characterized the sudden turnover as a routine byproduct of election-year politics and told KOAA-TV that the idea that the resignations were tied to her election was merely “rumor.”

“In an election year, there’s always some people who choose to stay and some people who chose to go, and I think that happens at every level of government,” Newberry told KXRM-TV.

Uhhh sure? I’ve never heard of that.

Regardless, the El Paso County Sheriff’s office has offered to help pitch in with law enforcement until the town hires more officers. But I’m certain you could still manage to get away with more crimes than usual. Because like fuck who’s gonna ticket you for a drunk in public?

So get your ass there. To party.

[Via The Washington Post]