We live in a world where a high school coach can’t swear at a kid without losing his job and in that very same world there is a ‘World’s Ugliest Dog’ competition. Because we should definitely pile it on the species that assist the blind, sniff out bombs, and help epileptic patients conquer difficult spastic episodes. Fuck them, right. Talk to me when these useless assholes can file my fucking taxes. Until then, lets all point and laugh at this 10-year old, hunchbacked, mixed breed dog named “Quasi Modo.”
Quasi Modo was awarded first place at the World’s Ugliest Dog competition in Petaluma, California on Friday. Quasi’s short spine makes her resemble a hyena but her big heart makes her resemble a LIVING ORGANISM WITH FEELINGS GOD DAMNIT. Granted, the dog lives in Florida so she’s 100% fucked up on Flakka right now. That probably helps ease the pain a bit.
— Newsday (@Newsday) June 28, 2015
//platform.twitter.com/widgets.jsChief Judge Brian Sobel (interesting career path, bro) said in a statement that Modo “epitomized excellence in ugliness.” That may be the biggest backhanded compliment I’ve ever heard. Congrats pup, you’re awesome at being disgusting.
Quasi’s pageant bio indicates that her multiple birth defects contribute to her unique appearance. According to the Huffington Post, Veterinarian Virginia Sayre and her husband, Mike Carroll, adopted Quasi from Palm Beach County Animal Care and Control about nine years ago. Sayre claims that she scares the shit out of Beta males.
“People who love dogs get her, but I’ve had grown men jump on top of a truck to get away from her. They don’t know what to make of her.”
Quasi is coming off a second place showing at last year’s competition, losing only to a small pup named Peanut, shown below.
Ya, I’d say Peanut deserved that W.
Quasi and it’s owners were awarded $1,500 for the first place victory. All of which, I’m guessing, will be going to Quasi’s therapy sessions.
[H/T Huffington Post]