What President Had The White House Bathroom Renovated So Two Shower Heads Pointed Right At His Dick And Ass?

Yahoo Politics has a fascinating look at a new book coming out about the inner workings of the White House. Former political correspondent Kate Andersen Brower, who worked for many major networks, interviewed a bunch of former employees at 1600 Pennsylvania Avenue, producing a detailed, inner look at this nation’s past presidents.

It’s called The Residence: Inside the Private World of the White House and hoo boy is it juicy. If you want to read about Nancy Reagan’s temper tantrums, the aftermath of the Monica Lewinsky scandal, or Nixon on the day he resigned, by all means, go read it here.

But if you wanna know what president was obsessive about cleaning his ass and balls with the hottest of hot water, please stay here. So, what president demanded the White House shower be renovated so that he could get hot water at the flick of a switch, with special, extremely high-powered shower heads pointed directly at his junk and bumhole?

Well, it wasn’t Andrew Jackson. He lived before indoor plumbing.

It was Lyndon Johnson.

[LBJ] harassed residence staff for years to construct him a specialized shower to replicate the one he had at his private Washington home, with “water charging out of multiple nozzles in every direction with needlelike intensity and a hugely powerful force.”

“One nozzle was pointed directly at the president’s penis, which he nicknamed ‘Jumbo.’ Another shot right up his rear,” Brower writes. Johnson, who traveled with his own special shower nozzle, wanted the water pressure at the White House to be “the equivalent of a fire hose, and he wanted a simple switch to change the temperature from hot to cold immediately. Never warm.”

Damn, that is a special kind of shower. That is also a special kind of insane. Was the president pissed when they couldn’t make it happen?

Johnson harangued the staff when they explained to him that they would have to lay new pipe, install multiple new pumps and increase the size of the water lines to the White House to create this shower contraption.

“If I can move 10,000 troops in a day, you can certainly fix the bathroom any way I want it!” Johnson yelled at the staff, according to Brower.

Haha. What a dick face. That’s the kind of person who would kill his president just so he could be president. What I’m saying is LBJ killed Kennedy. He also damn near killed the White House plumber.

Reds Arrington, the plumbing foreman at the White House, spent five years trying to perfect the project, and at one point was hospitalized with a nervous breakdown. The staff went through five different replacement shower models. LBJ eventually got something like what he wanted, sort of. The water temperature was so hot that the steam it emitted “regularly set off the fire alarm,” Brower writes.

Near the end of his presidency, LBJ told Arrington that the shower was his “delight.”

Burning off your balls is most definitely sociopathic behavior. That dude definitely killed Kennedy.