A Python Ate A Porcupine And Instantly Learns That When You Play Stupid Games, You Win Stupid Prizes

by 2 years ago

At the risk of giving too much information, I remember one game as a Little Leaguer years back my teammate has a giant bag of sunflower seeds. I was unaware that you had to actually spit the seeds out and after three handfuls, I sat on the toilet wanting to die. I presume that is exactly what this python is feeling, except in his case, it’s like he has buttholes peppered across his entire body. One part of me has sympathy for this poor bastard as he sits there writhing in pain awaiting an inevitably agonizing death, but another part of me–a larger part–believes this idiot deserves actually what he got. This is Darwinism at work. It’s gruesome and unforgiving, but on a deeper level, it’s a goddamn beautiful sight.

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