This Racist Obama Cartoon Got Me Thinking About My Favorite Stereotypes

Got to hand it to the person that drew this comic–they went all in. Probably realized that no one is reading print newspapers anymore and threw up a YOLO comic. Hey man, we’ve all been there. Perhaps less overtly racist and lacking in crude artistic depictions of world leaders, but we’ve been there.

Like, yeah, we get what you’re trying to say with the intruder bathing behind Barry’s shower curtain (the Secret Service sucks blah, blah), but there was definitely some “artistic interpretation” used here. Aside from the obvious toothpaste jab, the monkey ears move was a “eh, I’m probably getting fired soon, let’s get REAL racist with it.” Given the current racial climate, I’m not even that mad about this whole thing. In 2014, someone has to be shot/killed/victimized on camera for my “the jig is up” senses to start tingling.

But hey, that’s not what this is about. I’m here to talk about how watermelon is fucking refreshing and I’m pumped to have that stereotype associated with black people.

Black People Love Watermelon

Damn right, bruh. If you don’t grab for an available piece of watermelon on a 97 degree day, you’re out of your mind and/or an undercover cop. I don’t particularly love watermelon as much as I am apparently genetically predisposed to, but there is no denying its significance in the pantheon of summery treats.

(I tried to look up where this stereotype came from and Wikipedia was basically like ¯_(ツ)_/¯)

Black People Love Fried Chicken

Guillll-ty. Fun fact, my first post on BroBible was a ranking of the best fried chicken sandwiches in the fast food industry. Similar to Bane, you merely adopted the fried chicken sandwich, I was born in it. Funny enough, most of my white friends like fried chicken just as much or even more than me. Know why? Because EVERYONE loves it. No lie, I once wrote an essay in middle school about how a mutual love of fried chicken will eventually lead us into post-racial America. No way you can prove I wasn’t right.

Black People Are Really Athletic

Sure, everyone that you go to college with will immediately assume that you are on an athletic scholarship, you can dunk, you’re fairly stupid and will eventually try to fuck their girlfriends. While most of that likely isn’t true, you can still use it to your advantage.

For example, I was the only black kid in my grade in high school. Coincidentally, I was also decent at basketball. Other than that, nothing crazy from an athletic standpoint. But, due to a self-fulfilling stereotyping prophecy, I also became the fastest person on the track team and became a field-stretching diva wide receiver on the football team. In a way, subtle racism made me a better athlete. Thanks, white friends!

Black People Are Well-Endowed (aka Have Big Ol’ Dicks)

Saved this one for last because, well..penises. While this one is obviously awesome for a myriad of reasons, there is also a ton of pressure behind it. For your standard non-black person, a large penis is a welcome surprise worthy of celebration from the person willing to have sex with you. As a black person, you better be packing or else you’re a disappointment. Big is normal, average is small and small is “she already left your apartment.”

What I’m trying to say is: a black dude with a run-of-the-mill dick = an Asian girl that scored lower than the 95th percentile on the math section of the SATs. Great stereotypes to have, but a ton of pressure to uphold.

Everyone should sit back and realize that there are great stereotypes among us all – Jewish people are rich and awesome with money, Hispanic people are hard-working and white people would die/sacrifice their 1st-3rd born offspring for a reliable WiFi connection and any pumpkin-spice related product. It’s just a matter of how we balance the good and the bad, you know?