Taking a girl out to eat is ridiculously expensive. Even in places like Ruby Tuesday and Applebee’s you’ll end up dropping a chunk of money for overcooked meat or watered down drinks. Sure, those places offer deals like unlimited soup and salad or never-ending pasta throughs but does that look very baller? “Yes, the lady will have the football field full of salad for $9.99 and please keep pouring minestrone soup down my throat until I can’t feel my insides.”
There are ways to keep the final number on the check low without looking like a total cheap. You can let the little lady order whatever she wants but you’ve got to keep the cost down so you’ll have enough money to take her out again or at least get a cab home IFYOUKNOWWHATIMSAYING!
Alright, so, to avoid dropping an entire paycheck on grub, here are some tricks that restaurants pull on menus that you’ll want to avoid. If you want to try and get the girl to avoid these as well, give it a shot, but don’t tell her what to order just because you’re making $5 an hour.
Avoid The Upper Right Hand Corner
Pick up a magazine right now and open to any page. Where did your eyes go? I’ll pretend it wasn’t a porn mag, because in that case, I know where your eyes went. If you’re anything like normal bros, you probably checked out the top right corner of the right page. It’s the “HEY LOOK AT THIS!” area of a menu. Even though we read left to right (usually) our eyes naturally gravitate towards the top right corner of a menu. So why do you want to avoid that spot? It’s where food joints put the “anchor.” What’s the anchor? The five cheese pizza because that’s what it does in your stomach, but seriously, this is the anchor
The Anchor will sink your night if you or your date orders it but, thankfully, few people actually order the anchor. The anchor is a meal that’s horrendously overpriced but it’s just there to make everything else seem cheaper. “What! A piece of chicken for $42! That’s absurd. I’ll take this piece of chicken down here for $39 please.” The anchor hangs out in the top right corner. Ignore it.
Avoid The Anchor’s Posse
Alright, so you’re pretending the anchor doesn’t exist, but don’t get enticed by his friends. Those are the menu items in close proximity to the anchor that look reasonably priced in comparison like the $39 chicken mentioned above. These posse members include the items that make the joint the most money even though they’re the cheapest to make. Take pasta dishes for example. The typical pasta dish is anywhere from $10-20 but a box of pasta is like $.99. It’s a rip, and it’s giving you a gut, so avoid any item hanging out with the anchor.
Menus Toss Around Words To Entice You
Just like you’re throwing game at your date to keep her from realizing you’re a pretty boring dude, a restaurant tosses pointless words and phrases into food descriptions to keep you reading. Why do they want to keep you reading? It keeps you from checking the price of an item before ordering? You’re reading the complete life history of a free range chicken and the waitress is waiting to take your order. You forget to check the price and now you’re chawing on bird that costs way too much money just because he spent a summer in Venice.
Look Down At Your Stomach
I’m not talking about having a heart-to-heart with your gut to talk it out of eating at all. I’m saying to look down at the bottom left side of the menu, the part resting on your belly. That’s where restaurants usually put the cheapest fare. It’s probably going to be burgers, sandwiches or stuff left on the menu just because, but it’s a way to cut the cost of the meal in half. Just say something like “I’ve been dying for their burger!” to throw her off the scent that you’re in a classy place and eating diner food.
Here’s other sneaky tricks to avoid on menus but a few quick tips include avoiding appetizers ESPECIALLY SHRIMP COCKTAIL, don’t order soda or tea because they’re way over priced and don’t even get me started on dessert.