Russian Dudes With Axes Get Into Literal Dick Measuring Contest That Ends With Blood, Pain, And A Loss Of 8 Inches

shutterstock_105769730

Shutterstock


“It’s not the size of the hammer that matters, but the nail you’re throwing it at” is something you say when you have a tiny baby dick and you’re insecure about the fact that your thumb has more girth than your penis. Or, if you’re one of these two Russian villagers in Bashkortostan, you say “иди сюда вы немного дерьма облизывать , я собираюсь рубить ваш пенис прочь!” which roughly translates to “Come here you little shit lick, I am going to chop your penis off!”

According to Daily Mail, two middle-aged unnamed Russian men got into a literal dick measuring competition during drinks. When the winner started making fun of the loser for being, y’know, a baby dicked loser, shit turned ugly:

The elder man grabbed the axe and his his friend over the head with it, before chopping off the man’s penis, it was alleged.

A police spokesman said: ‘Over two days the men were binge drinking, which led to a violent argument.

‘When words were exhausted, the attacker pulled out an axe and first struck the opponent on the head, then cut off his manhood.’

Neighbour called the emergency services after hearing the man’s pained screams.

Reports said it was the man judged to have the smaller genitals who wielded the axe.

The older man has reportedly been charged with inflicting a “grave injury” on his friend and faces a maximum of eight years in prison if convicted.

[H/T Daily Mail]

BroBible Newsletter - The best sports and culture news directly to your inbox

* indicates required