I don’t know how life works anymore. I’m just completely out of touch. More and more I feel like the old bitter bastard sitting on his front porch in a yellowish wife beater drinking a 40 oz. and shouting obscenities at all the kids walking to school.
But when today’s kids are suction cupping shot glasses to their lips to look like a Kardashian and now are carving permanent scars into their bodies in place of tattoos, I’m left no choice but to drunkenly mumble my disapproval as I rock back and forth in my rickety rocking chair.
This new trend is known as sacrificial branding and is very popular in Canada. More and more tattoo parlors are offering customers the option of going under the knife in place of the traditional tattoo.
The technique involves patterns being engraved into flesh, designed to create a perfect scar. Those are two words you’re probably not used to seeing next to each other. Customer reviews claim that the process is less painful than getting inked up, but the branding has led to severe infections and disease, with increased risk of Hepatitis B, Hepatitis C, and HIV.
Call me old-fashioned or sane, but I think I’ll just settle with one of those henna tattoos you get on the Atlantic City boardwalk when you’re blackout because I’ve always had a problem with commitment. I’ll leave the flesh-gouging to you silly kids.
[H/T Mirror UK]