FINALLY!!! There’s an institution that will teach you the life lessons that are paramount to becoming a productive adult. Want to learn how to drive? This place will help you. Have a willingness to learn how to not overdraw your bank account? This school will teach you. Have you been wondering how to make up your bed? This school will show you how to make your bed since apparently your mommy made your bed for the last 27 years.
The Adulting School will unlock the secrets of life such as “How To Clean The Kitchen” and “How To Take Care Of A Pet” and “How To Make A Dentist Appointment.” That’s right, all of these essential life skills will be provided to you by The Adulting School, provided you have money to pay for it.
Here is the description of the valuable education you will receive from The Adulting School:
The Adulting School was created to help fill in the gaps in our adult know-how. You know–the stuff we wish we’d learned in high school or college and never did. So many of us are doing well overall but have been limping along with patched-together systems for financial management or organization that don’t work all that well. The Adulting School is a great way to learn, have a good time with friends, meet some new people, and drink good beer and eat yummy local food.
If only there was a person in your life like a mother, father, aunt, uncle or nana who could provide these pearls of wisdom to you. Or even better, if only there was an information superhighway that supplied free advice, tutorials, and guides on how to do any and all tasks. If only.
Some of the all-important subjects that you will learn include:
- Financial planning
- Saving for retirement
- Career development
No offense, but if you’re going to a school that teaches you how to adult, that probably means that you don’t have a job or if you do then you are most likely working an entry-level position where you could be replaced by an intern or a computer at any moment. So that would mean that financial planning and investing for your bank account with a $27 balance won’t help. It also means that you probably won’t even need to worry your pretty little head about buying a house. Forget retiring, you’ll be working until they put you six-feet under.
At least you’ll learn how to meditate.
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