Two nights ago the U.S. Senate convened a late-night session to repeal Obamacare/ACA. Given that most of these senators are fat ass old dudes who spend 85% of their time sitting in a clubhouse drinking scotch because they’ve grown too lazy to even play golf, the slightest of physical exertion requires these geriatric men to eat ungodly amounts of food…and eat food they did. Though they feasted on a gross amount of pizza, I feel the need to point out that the Founding Fathers would’ve been drinking a shit ton of alcohol instead of gorging on fast food.
TMZ uncovered what was on the menu while GOP senators dismantled Obama’s Affordable Care Act and it looks a little something like this: $5,000 worth pizza. There were over 100 pizzas ordered for local D.C. pizza shop We, The Pizza, which might be the cheesiest fucking name for a pizza show that I’ve ever heard (no pun intended)…but there’s more
In addition to the 100+ pizzas consisting of meat veggies, sausage, cheese, supreme, and plain ol’ cheese the Senators feasted upon over 200 chicken wings. The senators are said to have tipped out the ass for this massive delivery order requiring several pizza delivery boys. One of the drivers made out like a bandit, receiving a $100 tip for himself (the other drivers were rewarded handsomely as well). In total, the bill was said to be around $5,000…on just pizza.
$30 seems like a lot to spend on pizza, and when I think of pizza I’m thinking of NYC’s finest pizzerias, not some hokey pie shop out of D.C. who named themselves after a pun.
Going back to my point about the Founding Fathers, and their predilection for booze, I’d now like to do a little compare/contrast of our current Senate vs. the politicians of yesteryear.
Here’s what the Founding Fathers drank just two days before signing the Constitution:
“According to the bill preserved from the evening, they drank 54 bottles of Madeira, 60 bottles of claret, eight of whiskey, 22 of porter, eight of hard cider, 12 of beer and seven bowls of alcoholic punch.
That’s more than two bottles of fruit of the vine, plus a few shots and a lot of punch and beer, for every delegate.
It’s clear that American politicians have always had an affinity for excess. I think I’d prefer to go back to a time when our politicians were getting hammered in place of scarfing down pizza because at least they’d have some serious fucking arguments when they were drunk in place of eating cheese pizza, getting fat, and falling asleep.