The 2015 ‘Sexy’ NYC Taxi Driver Calendar Will Remind You To Use Uber So You Can Avoid These Drivers

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Have you ever been so sexually aroused that you felt like you were going to cream your pants in public? Well today is your lucky day, because you’re about to experience the exact OPPOSITE of that feeling, which is where you are so “I would 100% rather not please God no” that your dick inverts. Don’t believe me? Take a gander:

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Via Gothamist:

The calendar’s producers declare: “These drivers put a face to one of the most dedicated workforces in NYC, driving day and night to transport New Yorkers and our guests alike. This year’s calendar features three returning All-Stars and 10 new drivers, and debuts our first ever husband and wife driving duo.”

For just $14.99, you can have sex delivered to your home or office or refrigerator every month, in the form of beefcake**. But don’t just take our word for it, check out a sneak peek below.

Yes, for $14.99 you can invert your penis every day for an entire month, and once those 30 days are up and that month’s taxi driver has lost his affect on your ability to have erections you get to switch to a brand spankin’ new hairy dude to look at.

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Oh, and in case you ever needed some new material for your nightmares, here you go:
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That second one isn’t so bad, aside from the idea of a balding man with a shaved head chowin’ down on your dick like a baguette. #Hottttttt.

[H/T Gothamist, images via NYC Taxi Calendar]

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