You Are A Sheep And Coke Made Bank Off You From Those Cans With Names

share-a-coke

Coke


‘Sup, sheeple?

Oh, you think I’m not talking to you? I am. I totally am. Why?

Because you are a slave to mass marketing and big brands. Corporation says ‘Jump,’ and you say ‘How high, but let me give you money first.’

Don’t believe me? How do you explain this?

Coca Cola Co.’s carbonated soft-drink sales in the U.S. have risen more than 2% after the world’s most-famous beverage brand began labeling Coke, Diet Coke and Coke Zero this summer with names of individuals, from Aaron to Sarah to Zach.

The idea was to get consumers to buy personalized bottles and cans not just for themselves but also for friends and family. The “Share a Coke” campaign has been such a hit that, for at least a few months, it reversed a decadelong decline in U.S. Coke consumption.

OH LOOK JESSA THE SODA CAN HAS MY NAME ON IT. I HAVE TO HAVE IT.

People are so dumb. Yes, I’m talking to you. Unless you didn’t buy one. Then we cool. But you probably did. And if you did, Coke knows, absolutely knows, you can be fooled again.

Evan Holod, Coke’s senior brand manager, says the company was “pleased” with the campaign and that it will give “serious consideration” to bringing it back next year.

OH LOOK JESSA THE SODA CAN HAS MY NAME ON IT AGAIN, I HAVE TO HAVE IT.

Sheep. Fuckin’ sheep.

[H/T UPROXX]