Return Of The Crap: SkyMall Is Back, Bros

by 4 years ago



Older millennials love nothing more than affecting nostalgic dispositions toward things they never actually gave a shit about, so when it was announced that SkyMall — an in-flight magazine that not a single person under 35 ever purchased a product from — was folding, the outpouring of grief was outstanding, despite it not containing any real ounces of actual sentimentality. I mean, look at this shit.



Jack off motion. Jack off motion so hard.

In a move that’s destined to fail, idiot corporate executives, who saw this posturing and didn’t realize it existed solely for shutins to outwardly project upon their social media followers the existence of their soul and their real feeling for things and not an actual desire to shop at SkyMall, decided to resurrect SkyMall. From ArtsTechnica:

Last month, C&A Marketing quietly purchased the SkyMall brand and assets from its parent company, Xhibit Corp., which filed for bankruptcy in January. But it wasn’t until recently that SkyMall’s Twitter account started hyping the catalog’s comeback with pictures of Bauhaus-style fish bowls and sumo-wrestler side tables.

Oooooooooooooofffff coooooooouuuursseeeee its reboot is geared toward millennials.

Still, don’t expect the new SkyMall to be just like the old SkyMall. Chaim Pikarski, C&A Marketing’s executive vice president told Ars that there will be “dramatic changes” to the catalog’s product line.

Instead the company wants to source ”more of the innovative, fun, cool products that people are looking for, but that are still in keeping with the DNA of SkyMall,” Pikarski told Ars in an e-mail. “SkyMall has always been about serving a particular need, a travel gadget that you can’t find anywhere else but that serves a real purpose. That is what we are bringing more of, but we will still keep some of the crazy ‘look at that products’ that add excitement as well.”

Actually, that quote didn’t expressly state that it would target the ‘lens, but whatever, it probably will. Because everything does these days.

I look forward to blogging about their eventual demise come January.