Check out those two studs up there. Winter Storm Jonas is about to put a hurting on the entire East Coast, and they felt the snow wasn’t the only thing the ladies should take a pounding from this weekend.
Them. They felt the ladies should be taking a pounding from them, too. So they went to Craigslist with this gem of an advert.
Forecast in. Looks like we all getting snowed in. Fear not, dear girl(s)! Myself and another comrade will help you survive storm this weekend. With vodka and 420 to start festivities, we do more fun later. Unlike storm, our inches guaranteed (and warm).
We want no one suffer in this mess, so come and bring friend or two if you want. This going to be small party, so please do not bring more male comrades, only nice devochkas. Please send email to ask question or share picture. We like that. Look forward to see you this Saturday or Sunday.
How could you turn those two dudes down? But they weren’t the only ones taking to Craigslist to score some sweet storm strange. Just like before last year’s mega blizzard, dudes are desperate to find a snow biddy.
Like this cape wearing Bro who says sex with him will make his weekend super. No, really, the ad is titled “OUR BLIZZARD WILL BE SUPER IF WE HOOK-UP”
How could you not?
Anyone need a Blizzard Slave?
Or, this dude, who wants you to know he really, really doesn’t want to have sex with you. Really: “Normal good looking guy just wanna meet someone pretty and down to earth and normal send a pic and I’ll send one back this isn’t about sex I don’t care about the sex not that I would every say no lol it’s more about meeting that next person sorry if I sound lame but I’m a romantic at heart.”
Yea, sure, dude. Then there’s this gent in DC, who is quite the opposite: “Snow is getting close…..woodstove burning, tons of wine/beer, got the crockpot going for dinner and tons of food and apps to munch on. All I need is a hot little playmate who wants to sit by the fire, watch Netflix/Amazon and practice cumming hard on my big white dick. If you’re out there and have no plans for the storm, hit me up, could be lots of fun. have a jacuzzi too :-)”
Or what about just getting naked?: “I’m looking for a large chested Latin or Caucasian women to come over have wine food watch a movie and get naked while the snow falls. your pictures get mine obviously this is for Saturday night.”
Nice. Real nice. But what about the ladies who want a boy to bump blizzard boots with?
…
Sorry, yea, there’s none of those, this is just pervy dudes tryna score some snow tang. Best of luck, though.
[H/T Brokelyn]