This Legendary Slacker Skipped Work For 6 Years Before Anyone Noticed

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Joaquin Garcia is a god among men, a monument to the fuck work, play hard, anything but go-getter jabronie. It turns out Garcia had a gig overseeing construction at a waste management facility, but after a while he realized he didn’t really need to show up and report for duty every day. Where most dudes might be apt to consider a job change, or just bite the bullet and tough that shit out cause a homie’s gotta get paid; Garcia went a step further and took a Deadpool jumping over cars sized leap of faith. Turns out the crazy slacker didn’t show up to work for six years before anyone noticed. How’d they find out?

This is the true kicker right here, but management allegedly discovered Garcia anti-work routine at his 20th work anniversary. Picture how that scenario went down.

“Hey guys you seen Joaquin Garcia? We wanna give him something special to mark his second decade working with the company..”

Some hypothetical waste management underling confusedly responds, “Uh, think I last saw him sometime at a happy hour, shithoused off his ass in 2012, saying something about not having to go to work tomorrow—or ever.”

Garcia’s been fined $30,000 which equals one year’s salary; but that’s totally chill considering he rainchecked on work….for six years.

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