Spotify Revealed The Top 10 Songs To Bang To, As If You Could Make It Past The First

Are you the kind of dude who likes to bone to a beat? Thrust with the melody? I’ve been forced to throw on tunes on out of necessity, seeing as the walls in my apartment are thinner than Tara Reid’s wrist and I was getting fed up with my roommates hearing me sobbing every night before bed.

I’ve grown to enjoy a little background music as I thrust, uninspired, above a girl whose standards dropped enough to let me get it in. It provides a little tempo and emotion. If I were to offer you advice from my experience, just throw on The Weeknd’s Beauty Behind the Madness album. Chicks love that shit. Probably because they’re thinking of banging the Weeknd instead of my doughy-bodied self.

Anyhoo, Spotify has analyzed 2.5 million playlists to find users’ most popular ‘sex’ songs. Knowing you, you won’t make it to the chorus of the XX.

1. Intro – The xx

2. From Eden – Hozier

3. Menswear – The 1975

4. Magic – Coldplay

5. You & Me (Flume Remix) – Disclosure

6. Sweet Ophelia – Zella Day

7. Let’s Get Started – Dylan Gardner

8. Night Like This – LP

9. Talk Is Cheap – Chet Faker

10. Dreams – Fou De Toi

No Puddle of Mudd, ‘She Hates Me’? I call bullshit.

[h/t LADbible]

Matt Keohan Avatar
Matt’s love of writing was born during a sixth grade assembly when it was announced that his essay titled “Why Drugs Are Bad” had taken first prize in D.A.R.E.’s grade-wide contest. The anti-drug people gave him a $50 savings bond for his brave contribution to crime-fighting, and upon the bond’s maturity 10 years later, he used it to buy his very first bag of marijuana.