Bobby Box wrote an article titled “I Tore My Penis During Sex—Here’s What It Was Like” for Women’s Health
Last month, Bobby “had very rough, possibly over-enthusiastic sex” with his fiancé. The amorous couple “were in reverse cowgirl position” and then “he heard an audible crack.”
“I immediately went soft and felt a sharp pain emanating from the base of my cock. Alarmed, I quickly shimmied myself off the bed and reluctantly hit the light switch, afraid of what I was about to see. Lo and behold, there it was in all its swollen glory: my very injured penis.
My genitals looked as if I was smuggling a small water balloon in my scrotum and part of it crept up to my shaft. Although my boner used to confidently point straight forward as if declaring, “I want YOU for the U.S. Army,” it now curved to the right.
Right after it happened, my dick didn’t really hurt, despite it looking horrible. Instead of a sharp pain, my injury just felt incredibly warm and achy, as if I’d torn a muscle.”
Bobby should have consulted this article about the most dangerous sex positions before engaging in a perilous punani pounding.
He applied a bag of frozen edamame on his cracked cock because what better relief than frozen soybeans.
Two hours later the poor, poor gent said, “the base of my penis looked like it had a black eye. My dick was also much girthier than it was before.” Maybe all this broken penis stuff isn’t so terrible after all. He went to bed in hopes that a restful night of slumber would make his broken pee-pee all better.
Come morning, the dark bruising had completely eclipsed my dick. There was maybe a nickel-sized amount of skin that wasn’t bruised. Though it looked really bad, it didn’t hurt as bad as you’d think. Unlike an actual broken bone, the pain was more of a dull ache. At this point, the color was a deep purple and my balls were even darker.
He went to the clinic at 8 a.m. on New Year’s Eve and informed the female doctor that in his amateur medical opinion that he fractured his penis.
“You poor thing,” said the doctor as she walked in. “So…do you want to see it?” I asked. The answer in her heart was probably no, but her obligation as a doctor was yes. I pulled down my pants and apprehensively presented my mutant penis.
“Have you ever seen anything like this before?” I asked as she inspected from afar. “No,” she said politely, looking slightly disgusted, though I could tell she was trying her best not to.
She told me there was nothing we could do at the moment, no x-rays, tests, or anything were required. I’d just have to wait for my dick to heal itself. She said that the outer lining of my penis had been torn and the rush of blood that keeps my erection erect had nowhere else to go, hence the bruising.
Poor, poor, poor Bobby rang in the New Year with an ice pack on his tallywhacker.
It took three weeks for his wrecked wang to return to normal and it still hurts from time to time.
You can read every painful detail of this traumatic experience on Women’s Health.
Fellas, treat your cum guns with the respect they deserve and remember there is no prize for who can fuck the hardest.