Almost a full year ago, we introduced you to Taco Bell’s Quesalupa, a product I described as “like heaven when you are high.”
Of course, that was speculative on my part, because I never got to try the Quesalupa. Pretty much no one did. They tested it out in Toledo, which isn’t even real, and then, like a fucking Mexican food product Keyser Söze, we never heard from it again.
Soon, though, it may be back in our hearts and lives and stomachs. Reports are swirling that in a 30-second Super Bowl spot, Taco Bell will announce the Quesalupa will be available nationwide. In case you’ve forgotten, it’s “melted Pepper Jack cheese stuffed inside a flaky, crispy shell, layered with premium seasoned beef, crisp lettuce, real cheddar cheese, reduced-fat sour cream and diced, ripe tomatoes.”
Man. Imagine sticking your dick in that. Also eating it. I bet it’s heaven when it’s high. You’re high.
Sorry. I’m high.
Quesalupa and it’s set to launch in early February. The signature feature of the new menu item is a Chalupa-like shell but with a melted cheese core.
The chain’s been teasing the new menu item as “what could be its biggest launch to date” and plans a marketing blitz with ” series of ambiguous activities and exciting pop-up events” leading up to a 30-second TV spot set to air during the first quarter of Super Bowl 50 on February 7, 2016 (which means the Quesalupa will be available starting February 8, 2016).
Get your bongs and blunts ready, Bros. You’ve got three weeks.