Taylor Swift’s Publicist Wants You To Know Taylor Definitely Was 100% NOT Doing Cocaine In This Backstage VMA Video

Did Taylor Swift do cocaine backstage at the VMAs? No! Of course not! I’m not just saying that because Swift fans are fucking batshit and I’m not looking to get my house burned down in a freak electrical “accident,” but because that’s what her Publicist told me and who am I to doubt her publicist? Taylor’s publicist maybe knows her better than I do, and Taylor’s publicist maybe also was there when the supposed coke-snortin’ went down and saw that she was actually just blowing her nose. Taylor was definitely just blowing her nose and not doing coke; she is a good little girl.

I know this all reads as sarcasm, but that’s primarily because I think Taylor Swift is an overblown piece of pop tart and can’t say her name without having bitch tone. But forreal, Swift’s got boogers. Mad boogers:

Taylor Swift’s representative denied that the singer uses drugs after a video was posted online of the singer backstage at the MTV VMAs.

Entitled ‘Taylor Swift Does Coke?’ it showed the star holding an item to her nose while sheltered from the cameras by her entourage.

But the star was simply blowing her nose and understandably didn’t want to be taped while doing so, her publicist explained.

… When viewed in slow motion it is clear that Taylor is holding a tissue.

One of her aides uses her flashlight to check the singer’s nose, before Taylor can be heard blowing it clean.(via)

As for the video, we unfortunately don’t have a copy – sorry not sorry I have better shit to do than watch TSwift clips of her blowing her nose backstage. If you want to watch it, click HERE. If you DON’T want to watch it, click HERE for a video of Batman, and if you don’t like Batman click HERE to go fuck yourself.

[H/T Daily Mail]