Be Glad You Aren’t A Teen Anymore, Because States Are Trying To Send Kids To Jail For Sexting Each Other

When I was 21, I was sentenced to 100 hours of community service after I got busted with a couple of forged documents. It was an excessive penalty, no doubt, but whatever.

It happened when I was in college, so I served it alongside a bunch of people who got drunk in publics and public urination tickets. We all sort of laughed about our situations, and mopped some floors at a community center.

But imagine if I was chatting up another bro, and I asked what he was serving time for.

“Oh, I told my girlfriend I wanted to lick her pussy.”

If I was in Arkansas, that certainly could be the case. For they have a law that sentences first-time offenders to eight hours of community service for sexting. Consensual sexting. Oh, fucking yea. That’ll do the trick. From an AP piece on what states are trying to do to counter the SEXTING EPIDEMIC AMONG TEENS:

Colorado lawmakers this week delayed a vote on creating a new misdemeanor crime of “misuse of electronic images” by teens.

Colorado’s bill was prompted by a scandal last year at a Canon City high school where more than 100 students were found with explicit images of other teens. The news sent shockwaves through the city of 16,000. Dozens of students were suspended, and the football team forfeited the final game of the season.

In a similar case last year out Fayetteville, North Carolina, two dating teens who exchanged nude selfies at age 16 were charged as adults with a felony – sexual exploitation of a minor. After an uproar, the charges were reduced to misdemeanors.

Why would you do things like that? Well, because old white men think they know what’s best for everyone. LISTEN HOW MORAL THEY ARE.

Several prosecutors who argued in favor of the bill countered that minors aren’t capable of consensual sexting.

“Juveniles, left to their own devices … will do things that potentially hurt themselves,” said Arapahoe County District Attorney George Brauchler. “We don’t let them own guns. We don’t let them rent cars. We don’t even let them vote, because we don’t trust their judgment.”

I’m not sure how a young person voting could potentially hurt themselves. Cars is kind of understandable because it’s a weapon that can travel at 100 mph. Same as a gun, only faster. But sexting? Getting a boner from a nudie (which, remind you, ain’t nothing these kids aren’t seeing irl anyway) ain’t gonna do no damage.

Admittedly, the bill in Colorado is an attempt to lessen current penalties, but it still keeps punishments in place.

Colorado currently classifies sexting as felony child exploitation, punishable by up to 12 years in prison and lifetime registration as a sex offender.

“What we want to do is get away from the life-altering and devastating effect of a felony charge … by having lower-level crimes,” said Republican Rep. Yeulin Willett of Grand Junction, who sponsored the new bill.

Sexting. A lower-level crime. Ha. Certainly, if a minor, or anyone, shares an image they received, that should be punishable. Throw the book at those idiots, adults or kids. No one should ever share sexts they get. But if some kids wanna talk to each other over the telephone about doing it, what’s the harm in that? None, says smart people.

Amy Hasinoff, a communications professor at the University of Colorado-Denver who wrote a book on sexting last year, called the practice the modern version of a love letter or sexy Polaroid picture.

“Sexting is often portrayed as something that’s harmful, but we’re not seeing a lot of evidence of that,” she told lawmakers. She pointed out that it’s legal for two 17-year-olds to have sex, but not to consensually take pictures of themselves doing it.

Lol. Unfortunately, lawmakers aren’t really the smartest bunch of folks.

Eleven states have made sexting between teens a misdemeanor; in some of those places, prosecutors can require youngsters to take courses on the dangers of social media instead of charging them with a crime.

I mean, that’s fine, but did the eight-hour driver safety class you had to take after your first speeding ticket cause you to slow the fuck down?

Nah. But let’s keep doing the same dumb shit over and over.

Sext away, teens. I’ll defend you in court.*

*Note: I am not a lawyer.