Hot Take Tomi Lahren Takes Aim At #VeteransForKaepernick And Her Haters In Passionate Rant, May Need A Beer

Hot Take Tomi is back at it again with the white dress! I’m actually pretty sure she wore the same outfit yesterday, but slinging out hot takes is a full-time job that doesn’t allow for wardrobe changes.

I’m not here to shove my political opinion down your throat or whip out my patriotic pecker and measure it against yours, Lord knows there has been no shortage of that recently. To be honest, if I could just get away with posting pics of Tomi in a bikini, I’d sleep like a log. But she made her Instagram private for jerkoffs like me.

Regardless of whether you believe it or not, when Tomi Lahren has an opinion, it’s electrifying. It’s immediately apparently that I’ve never cared about anything more than Tomi Lahren cares about everything. I don’t think I blinked during her hot take addressing the #VeteransforKaepernick hashtag that was picking up steam yesterday. 

I respect Tomi’s hard line opinions, but I’m not sure I’d want her at my birthday party because a.) she’d probably flip a shit about the size of her cake slice b.) take a swing at my black friend during her whack at the piñata. Tomi and I have a good thing going at this distance. I’ll leave it at that.

P.S. Not going to lie, I felt it move when she said “Everyone’s been shoving down my throat.”

Shoving what, Tomi? Say it again. Slower.

Matt Keohan Avatar
Matt’s love of writing was born during a sixth grade assembly when it was announced that his essay titled “Why Drugs Are Bad” had taken first prize in D.A.R.E.’s grade-wide contest. The anti-drug people gave him a $50 savings bond for his brave contribution to crime-fighting, and upon the bond’s maturity 10 years later, he used it to buy his very first bag of marijuana.