Tough Guy Pays $212 Speeding Ticket In All Pennies After Failing To Realize That This Is Not ‘Nam. There Are Rules.

We’ve all had our turn at being whacked by the big dick of the Law. Like that time I was tripping on mushrooms in NYC’s Prospect Park at 11 pm and I was ticketed for loitering in the park past closing time. HOW DARE THOSE OFFICERS DO THEIR JOB AND INTERRUPT MY TRIP, I vehemently told myself. When the dust settled and the privileged voice in my head subsided, I came to and realized that although I wasn’t hurting anyone besides poisoning my brain, I broke the rules. I knew damn well the park was closed but I was also seeing unicorns dancing in the trees so my decision making was a bit skewed.

I begrudgingly paid the ticket and found solace in the fact that Steven Avery is likely going to spend the rest of his days for no other reason than being a dumbass. Bottom line is that life fucks people every day, and instead of fighting a losing battle, its often best to just grab your ankles and take it like the little bitch I am.

Maybe this Texas dude named Brett Sanders should have taken a play out of my playbook before turning into a petty, narcissistic child after he got hit with a $212 fine for driving nine miles over the speed limit. Well, the ticket was $79.90 but court fees brought it over $200. Unfair? Sure, whatever–we all consistently travel at speeds that exceed the speed limit, but sometimes an example needs to be made, and it’s probably best to handle it with a little goddamn integrity if you’re at the losing end of it. That’s not what happened.

The above video has since gone viral, being watched over 1 million times.

Sanders told KXAS-TV:

“I didn’t hurt anybody, I didn’t endanger anybody’s life. When my fine came due, I just decided I may as well pay with pennies and we’ll make a big spectacle of it.”

Good job, dude. You really showed them. And by them I mean the nice, helpful lady who had to clean up your shit so you could become a speeding ticket martyr. The poor lady probably has arthritis too. I’m sure the police won’t be gunning for you from now on. Smart move getting yourwhip on camera!

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Keep your head up bro, you’re in good company in Doucheville.


[h/t Complex]

Matt Keohan Avatar
Matt’s love of writing was born during a sixth grade assembly when it was announced that his essay titled “Why Drugs Are Bad” had taken first prize in D.A.R.E.’s grade-wide contest. The anti-drug people gave him a $50 savings bond for his brave contribution to crime-fighting, and upon the bond’s maturity 10 years later, he used it to buy his very first bag of marijuana.