These Two Geniuses Spent Two Days In A Poop-Filled Janitor’s Closet, Because Maybe They Smoked Some Crack


Volusia County Branch Jail

One of my earliest memories as a child was accidentally locking myself in a closet at my aunt’s house. It was traumatizing, but only for like 20 seconds, because even at 4 or 5-years-old I knew to call for help immediately. Not this couple from Florida, though (it’s ALWAYS Florida). Nope. They stayed in the “locked” closet for two days, festering in their own piss and shit and no one knows why. Not even the police, because when an officer went into the closet and closed the door, it didn’t lock. The cops also didn’t find any drugs, but the report says they found “copper scouring pads sometimes used to smoke crack.”

That’s a little presumptuous. I don’t know what about these two people would make someone assume they smoked crack. $$$$$

According to the Orlando Sentinel

John Arwood, 31, and Amber Campbell, 25, claimed they were chased into the closet on Sunday, Daytona Beach police said.

After two days in a Marine and Environmental Science Center janitor’s closet, where police found human feces and copper scouring pads sometimes used to smoke crack, Arwood called 911 from his cell phone, police said.

A police officer, trying to figure out how the two could have gotten locked in, went into the closet and closed the door, police said. The door did not lock.

Good to see that Florida decided to start the new year right where they left off. You know, just in case anyone was concerned that things were going to be different in 2015.

[H/T: Orlando Sentinel]