Let me set the scene for you – a couple skater punks are clashing with a Park Ranger. Skater punks and park rangers go together like oil and water. It’s a rivalry as old as time. Unfortunately for the park rangers, the skater punks tend to always be a) younger, b) in better shape, c) more plentiful. All of those things were true here.
What does that end up meaning for poor Park Ranger? That he ends up getting his ass beat by a bad ass child. Is there anything more humiliating than getting a beating from a teen? I would have to immediately retire from the park rangering game. Who could respect me after that?
After the beating has been doled out, and a spit in the face added for good measure, the teens laugh and mock the sad ranger as he lies pathetically on the ground. This sounds like the perfect opportunity for a hero to rise up and save the day. Who should present himself, but Jesus Christ himself! “My prayers have been answered,” the Park Ranger is probably saying to himself.
But what does Jesus do? He stands there and just watches them run off!
Jesus…bruh! You’re getting mad lazy in your old age. Turn these skater punks into wine. Walk your ass over that water fountain and make these devil children pay! Do SOMETHING. S’ing my damn h, Jesus.