Uh Oh, No One’s Seen Vladimir Putin In A While And People Are Starting To Get Worried


You, by any chance, haven’t seen Vladimir Putin, have you?

No? Okay.

Well, if you do, could you let Russia know? Because they can’t seem to find him.

Ever since he met with Finland at the end of the month, he’s gone into hiding, cancelling appearances.

This is the second time in two years that Putin’s gone missing.

Back then, there were rumors that he’d either died, been disposed, or was in Switzerland witnessing the birth of his illegitimate child. This absence, which has now reached a week, is not prompting the same kind of speculation. Perhaps because he’s making a habit of it.

His first absence was mostly likely prompted by the flu. At least according to the CIA.

This time, state newspapers say he’s focusing on work. From The Independent.

However, according to online paper Gazeta.ru, Mr Putin’s absences are related to current relationships with Turkey and unfolding problems in Abkhazia – one of the areas of Georgia that declared itself an independent state in 2008 with the support of Russia.

A source “close to the Kremlin” told Gazeta: “The President wants to focus and not be distracted. Regional travel will be moved to August – September, closer to the election.”

Ahh the old working really late excuse. Anyone who has ever been asked out by a Tinder match they weren’t all that interested in knows that’s some bullshit.

So, Bros. Where do you think he is?