Florida Strip Club Waitress Was Caught Giving Teenager A Blowjob In The Shower. By The Kid’s Father.

shower head
Are you a dad? If you answered yes, can you please tell me how to act in a situation like this? Because I honestly don’t know whether to strangle my child for getting a beamer in my shower by someone twice his age or politely ask them if they’re set for towels. This is for sure a teachable moment, I’m just confused as which curriculum to teach.

Here’s the backstory, courtesy of Florida’s First Coast News:

A Macclenny (Florida) woman faces a felony sex charge after she was allegedly caught in the shower with her friend’s 15-year-old son — by the boy’s father.

Ciara Danielle Stokes, 29, of Faye Road, remains in custody at the Baker County Jail on a charge of lewd and lascivious act on a child following her arrest Feb. 11, according to the Baker County Sheriff’s Office.

Stokes, identified by an arrest report as a waitress at Jacksonville’s Gold Club, stopped by her friend’s home about 10:30 p.m. Feb. 4 to take a shower because she didn’t have running water in her camper, according to the report.

The teen told investigators Stokes initially used his phone to browse Facebook for about an hour and then the pair watched TV for another half-hour. Afterward, the teen said, Stokes invited him into the shower with her.

Stop right there.

Let’s take ourselves back to 15 years old.

Pimple-faced, insecure, phantom boners popping up every 45 seconds like penis whack-a-mole. Flipping through the bra and panty section of mom’s Macy’s catalog until the pages stick together. Hormones raging harder than Johnny Manziel at a Vegas pool party.

He did what you and I would likely do.

While they were showering, Stokes allegedly performed oral sex on the teen while he groped her, the teen told investigators. “I have never been put in that position before and I didn’t know how to get out of it,” he said.

Then, the worst happens.

No, the house didn’t catch on fire. Worse.

At some point, the commotion woke up his father, who barged in and ordered both of them out of the bathroom, the teen told investigators. Then, the teen said, his father demanded that Stokes leave.

Stokes told investigators she was drunk and didn’t recall “everything” that had taken place but acknowledged kissing the 15-year-old, saying “it was a bad mistake,” according to the report.

Now this begs the question–what’s worse: your dad walking in on your first blowie, or you walking in on your mom giving your dad his 10,000th hummer?

I think I’m going to stop thinking about this now. Bye.

[h/t First Coast News]

Matt Keohan Avatar
Matt’s love of writing was born during a sixth grade assembly when it was announced that his essay titled “Why Drugs Are Bad” had taken first prize in D.A.R.E.’s grade-wide contest. The anti-drug people gave him a $50 savings bond for his brave contribution to crime-fighting, and upon the bond’s maturity 10 years later, he used it to buy his very first bag of marijuana.