Dating app bios usually contain a succinct one liner that shows off your wit, love of crossfit or smattering of emojis because life is too short to try to impress someone you’ll never speak to after the next morning.
Of course you’re not going to be completely honest, because the goal is to meet the other person before showcasing your true personality. But why not be honest with the potential object of your affection? Wouldn’t that just save us all time and overall make life easier?
That’s why these endearingly honest app bios should see the light of day, right bros?
My body makes up for my personality
I can get us a Dorsia reservation
I’m just looking for my slutty Holden Caulfield
Not outdoorsy but I can photoshop myself into a tent
STD free as of 2/1/16
I can probably drink you under the table
You’re probably already Eskimo brothers with most of your friends anyway
How do you feel about vajazzling?
Addicted to Red Bull because my wings melted when I flew too close to the sun
Only answer texts after 2 am
I’m harder to read than a Doctor’s handwriting
On a scale of 1 to America, how free are you from alimony
DTF (Down To Fake a relationship so I don’t get written out of the will)
Just here for revenge sex!
I’m a 10 after 8 beers
I’ll pretend to like football for you
You can keep your socks on
I’d make a better second wife anyway
Proud to host the hamster rescue center of Manhattan in my studio apartment
My standards have never been lower
It’s been a slow down spiral after winning prom queen
It’s okay, I don’t like me either
Hooker with a heart of gold
“10/10 would do again but wouldn’t stay the night” – an ex