What’s the most whipped thing you’ve ever done for a girl?
In high school, my girlfriend and I got in a petty fight after I got legless drunk one night with my friends and didn’t text her every 8 minutes to give her the peace of mind that I wasn’t breaking the rules of the relationship. She went straight up nuclear on me the next day, so I peeled myself out of bed, puked in the toilet, and drove to the grocery store. I grabbed a Carvel ice cream cake out of the freezer, sauntered up to the bakery and sheepishly asked the dude to write ‘I’m Sorry, Christina’ in frosting, trying my best to avoid eye contact. He gave me a look that was 90% pity, 10% compassion and complied. It was late August and my air conditioner was broken so I sped to her place as fast as I could, the ice cream cake quickly losing its shape. I arrived at her place, reeking of shitty vodka, cake in one hand, my testicles in the other, and presented Christina the cake as a token of reconciliation. It was a short-term solution, as I regrettably enabled her childish behavior. If I could go back to that day, I would have asked the dude at the bakery to write in all caps, ‘SORRY FOR PARTYING,’ fist pumped him, and walked out of the grocery store with my balls dragging on the floor. Regrets, man. I’ve got too many of ’em.
Well that was a long tangent, but thanks for letting me get that off my chest. My therapist says its good to talk about it.
And after hearing this story of what this Canadian husband did for his wife for their 15 year wedding anniversary, I don’t feel like such a gargantuan bitch.
Mike Hovak married his wife Angela in 2001, serving wedding guests KFC as the main course at the reception. So down with this. Here’s Mike grabbing Angela’s boobies on their wedding day. #love.
Every year since Mike has gone to KFC in their extremely remote town of Yellowknife and brought his wife back a bucket of crispy chicken to celebrate. That was until the KFC branch closest to them closed down.
But Mike would not be denied. He decided to get in his car and make an 870 roadtrip to the nearest KFC to keep the tradition alive. To add some perspective, that’s the equivalent of traveling from Maine to Virginia.
Mike told CBC:
“So during March break, me and my son got up early one morning, drove 700 kilometres, picked up 15 buckets of KFC and drove 700 kilometres back – in one day.”
“When I ordered 15 buckets, they said: ‘uh, it might take a little while.’
“I said: ‘no problem,’ so they cooked it up right away.”
Quite possibly the only bit of logic Mike used during this entire process was asking if there was any chance he could get the chicken frozen, but unfortunately that wasn’t an option.
“They said: ‘Everything’s fresh here. If you want frozen chicken, go to the grocery store.'”
When it was all said and done, 870 miles worth of gas, 15 buckets of chicken and popcorn chicken, the total came up to about $600.
Was it worth it?
“Every penny. We have to keep traditions alive. Fifteen years. Why stop now?”
Now I’m not trying to be Terry Tough Guy and ignore the romance value of this act. On some level, it makes me believe in true love again. And I can only hope I feel compelled to crazy shit in the name of love for my wife when and if I find her, but right now, as I’m swiping through Tinder looking for my next vapid, emotionless hookup, I’m going to file this under ‘Whipped Psychos Doing Whipped Psycho Shit.’
Please tell me the most whipped thing you’ve done for a girl in the comment section. I WANT TO READ THEM ALL.