Pretty much every season has a movie that people to watch to get in the mood. Christmas-time has classics such as Home Alone and National Lampoon’s Christmas Vacation. Halloween has the Halloween franchise. Back to college has Neighbors and Animal House. Hanukkah has Eight Crazy Nights. For the summer, however, I like to start the season off by watching Jaws. It’s got beaches, chicks in bikinis, boats, shark carnage. While a possibly odd choice of summer movies, I’m pretty sure people only get attacked by sharks in the summer. Sharks only have a small window of the year to munch on human flesh, so they really need to take advantage of it. Hence why this little, two foot shark took a bite out of 23 year-old woman in Boca Raton.
Via ABC News:
A woman was bitten by a 2-foot-long nurse shark that was still attached to her right forearm at a Boca Raton, Florida, beach Sunday, according to Boca Raton Fire Rescue Services. Emergency crews responded to a 911 call of a 23-year-old woman bitten by a shark. Though the shark had been killed before the fire department arrived, it was still attached.
Boca Raton Ocean Rescue told a local newspaper that the woman remained calm and there was a little blood. A splint board was used to support the woman’s arm and the shark as she waited on the stretcher, according to The Associated Press. The woman, with the dead shark still on her arm, was taken to the Boca Raton Regional Hospital in stable condition.
Guy went out eating. Gotta respect that hustle. I’m getting the feeling here that this little dude was starving. We had a long winter. Sharks gotta eat. Little guy was given a buffet of ripe human flesh, got a little too excited and died. I’m pretty sure that same situation happens twice a month at Golden Corrals nationwide. Guy went out chewing, can’t ask for much more. I feel worse for the 23 year-old chick who was obviously just trying to tan up that beach bod when hungry shark’s stomach started grumbling. Imagine walking into a hospital, presumably full of old people, with a shark hanging off your arm. Not only are you going to have to sit through a lecture from a strange old lady about how she doesn’t understand young people and their obsession with body modifications, but that shark is going to start to smell like absolute ass. So then you either have to admit to the world that you’ve got a shark growing out of your arm or stuff it up your shirt and have to tell everyone that you just haven’t washed your buttcrack in a while. Plus, what if the shark isn’t really dead? Forget about pulse, if I died with a grade A meal in my mouth, I’d hope my body would come back to life and finish what I started.