Woman Is Suing KFC For $20 MILLION For The Pettiest Reason Imaginable, But She Speaks For Us All
A 64-year-old trailblazing woman from Hudson Valley, New York has filed a massive lawsuit against fried chicken giant KFC for false advertising.
Anna Wurtzburger’s gripe:
She found a baby arm in her chicken bucket, Colonel Sanders jizzed in her mashed potatoes, her $20 chicken bucket wasn’t filled to the top, like in the commercials. This offense, in Wurtzburger’s attorney’s eyes, is punishable by $20 million.
She told the New York Post:
“I came home and said, ‘Where’s the chicken?’ I thought I was going to have a couple of meals.”
“They say it feeds the whole family … They’re showing a bucket that’s overflowing with chicken,” the 64-year-old widow griped. “You get half a bucket! That’s false advertising, and it doesn’t feed the whole family. They’re small pieces!”
Before you call her crazy…
Wurtzburger immediately phoned KFC’s Georgia headquarters to fight the good fight, and was told that the chicken was overflowed the buckets in the commercials “so that the public could see the chicken.”
Anna shot back:
“If you want the public to look at your chicken, put it in a dish. It’s a lot of BS. … I expect to get what you’re telling me.”
In order to bury the hatchet, KFC sent Anna two gift certificates. Nah KFC. Anna don’t fuck with your gift certificates. Instead, she sent them back and lawyered up–to the tune of $20 million.
As if the lawsuit wasn’t enough, Anna annihilated the fried chicken chain with a boom roast for the ages.
“You know what commercial they should put on? You remember the movie, ‘Oliver’?” she said. “It was about the little boy growing up in the orphanages and he was hungry and he goes to the man, ‘Can I have some more?’ ”
KFC called the lawsuit “meritless.”
If a girl on Tinder has a couple healthy chesticles in her pictures and a pair of grapes in real life and uses the “push up bra” excuse, I have every reason to cry “false advertising” and demand she Venmo me 20 mill. I stand with Anna.
[h/t New York Post]