Color Me Surprised. Women These Days Are Getting Their Tubes Tied.

If you asked me to rank the methods of birth control that are most popular with women, my list would go something like this:

1. The Pill
2. Uhh… pulling out?
3. Feminism
4. ?

I don’t know much about what women do to prevent pregnancies. I assume it involves witchcraft and also a lot of actually trying to get pregnant but failing because of the mysteries of the human body. Most of us men here are not fathers not because of the efforts of modern science, but rather thanks to the narrow, narrow, narrow (thank god it is so narrow) window in which an ovulated ovum can safely link up with some sperm.

But here’s something I learned. While a recent study found that Ortho-Tri Cyclen has a firm lock on the top spot, the second most popular method is out and out slicing through those Fallops so an egg and a spermatozoid can never, ever meet. From The Daily Mail:

According to a new report from the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention, 62per cent of U.S. women between 15 and 44 use some form of birth control.

Among those, 16per cent were on the Pill between 2011 and 2013, and following close behind was the 15.5per cent of women who chose female sterilization.

Getting your tubes tied is a procedure that I would describe as “not fun sounding.”

When a woman undergoes tubal ligation, her tubes are either cut and tied or sealed with an electrical current, clamps or rings.

Another option is to put tiny inserts into the tubes, causing tissue to grow around them and block the tubes. The brand name for this type of sterilization is Essure.

Oh WORD? Cut, tied and sealed with an electrical current. Sign me right up. That sounds like something in the Senate’s recently published torture report. But it’s apparently super popular. More so than condoms.

The study found the male condoms are the third most popular form of contraceptive, with 9.4per cent of couples using them during sex.

In last place were long-acting reversible contraceptives such as Intrauterine devices, or IUDs, with 7.2per cent.

Ja mon, condoms do suck. This is a testament to that. We need less science and more better condoms. Someone do something about this. Although this is nice news. I’m going to assume from here on out that all women are no longer interested in having babies with anyone.

Please no one attempt to tell me otherwise.