First dates can be the absolute worst sometimes, that’s why I usually just skip straight to the second date by blacking out on the first and forgetting it ever happened. A whole bunch of people shared stories of their worst first dates, bros and lady bros sharing their insane stories of cheaters, killers, and everything else under the sun. I guess I’m lucky that my ‘worst first date’ only involves me waking up in a chick’s house without knowing where I was or what the girl’s name was. Shockingly, and this is an embarrassing story I don’t tell very often, but we had the same fucking name! How do I forget the girl’s name is ‘Cass’, short for Cassidy, when my own name is Cass? Booze, that’s how I forget…). I’ve compiled the best from the AskReddit thread below and all I have to say is HOLY HELL, people are absolutely crazy, so get ready, and take notes on the red flags to avoid! The last story is straight up terrifying and I hope that the dude is behind bars by now.
I was at work and a stunningly beautiful woman walked up and asked me out. I was in college and she was probably 25-26.
It was an amazing date. She was funny and cool and insisted on paying for everything. At the end of our meal she looked at me and said “I promised myself I wasn’t going to fuck you, but I’ve changed my mind.”
Back at her place the sex was like porn sex, but something was off. She was very particular about positions and where we positioned ourselves. She also described in a very loud voice everything we were doing.
By the time we were finished I was creeped out. I knew something was up. On the drive home I badgered her until she admitted that her fiancé had been watching us the whole night, from the bar in the restaurant and through the window when we had sex.
Took her to a quiet bar and grill, ordered a beer, and listened to her lecture me about how I am using beer to hide / deal with my insecurities. I ordered a 2nd and a 3rd.
I had an era when I kind of dated or hooked up with about half a dozen girls from the same (loose) group of people, more or less back-to-back. The 2nd to last was someone I had always thought being way way out my league so even tho the whole thing had started to feel weird I was glad to go out with her when she asked. We had an ok date and ended up at her place. We did the deed, after which she just bluntly says: “I don’t think you should stay the night. To be honest I just wanted to see what the fuss was about and not to offend you but I don’t get it.”
Did not feel grand.
I went out with a guy from Tinder who turned out to be legitimately crazy. He regaled me with stories of how he assaulted police officers, burned his arm to impress girls, spent significant time in a psych ward, and lost his virginity to an overweight prostitute.
He also told me that my eating disorder made him feel better about himself because it made me crazier than he was and that I had obvious acne scars.
After our disaster date, he wouldn’t stop contacting me, even going so far as asking me to stay in a rented house with him in another city and claiming I had ruined his entire year. I deleted Tinder immediately after that.
He brought me to titty bar. It was my very first date.
I went on a POF date with a girl. The set up was fun, we decided not to talk at all before we met, kinda like a real date would go before the internet. So we were both excited, set up to meet at an old bar in the city. I got there early, she arrived 5 min later. We talked, she suggested we eat. I wasn’t super hungry, but got something. She drank about 4 drinks. During conversation, we had a lot in common, worked at the same place about a month apart, same movies, music, etc. Then at the end, I ask for the check. She says she needs to go to the bathroom, and then gets up and straight leaves. Just right out the front door, adios. I went back to ask her why she did that, she deleted her account. I’m not entirely sure she wasn’t just a very hungry ghost.
I went to pick her up and her family was waiting at the kitchen table for me. Her family quizes me and finds out I smoke pot. They demand I smoke one with them. I bust out my bag and her little brother who was probably 18 or so starts rolling a joint. This was back in 1997 so there was seeds in the bud. The kid takes a couple buds, barely breaks them up, and rolls them into the most pregnant joint I have ever seen. Lights it up and it starts popping like Magnitude from Community. None of them bat an eye that there is seeds in the joint and they smoke it like its some Cannabis Cup winning strain. After getting her family baked, we leave and she insists we just drive around for a couple hours. She was cool but her family was weird. I decided to not ask her out again because what if we hit it off and got married. I couldn’t live with myself knowing my in-laws think seedy weed is acceptable.
I guess I am kind of lucky if this is the worst date I ever had.
I posted this a while back in a thread about Tinder, it was a pretty spectacularly bad…..
I used it, I’m a fat ugly bastard, I matched with a girl who wasn’t too shabby looking, texted for a few days until we were both off. I picked her up, she was very cute, went to dinner at a Japanese steak house and had a good time, drank some sake. She suggested we go back to my place (woo!)
We stop by her apartment to get her car and she wants to get clothes. She follows me to my house and we make out in my driveway for a few and start to move towards the house, I’m excited, gunna get laid and all yessir, been a while.
So we are on my front porch and she goes “eew, what’s that” and points to this baseball sized toad that hangs out on my porch, this is his 2nd year it there. Anyways I explain he is cool and I knock beetles off my porch light for to eat and stuff she walks over to him, looks at me, like intense eye contact and proceeded to slowly stomp on my toad.
Now at this point I was experiencing several emotions, shock, anger, rage. I shouted at her “wtf, why’d you do that” to which she replied “I wanted to make you mad so you’d Fuck me hard” I was speechless while I processed what I had just witnessed. I told her to get the Fuck of my property, she flips out, we yell back and forth, I sprayed her with the hose and she finally leaves only to show up 20 min later topless on my deck in the back yard. She had walked from down the road and pulled like 6 pickets down from my fence to get in the back yard.
Cops came, she cried her way out of trouble with them and left.
Tl;dr fat ugly bastard, solid 8 tinderella, night of hibachi, sake, otphj, she stomped my porch toad, cops come, girl cries, gets let off
Back in college, this really hot girl in several of my classes starts flirting with me, laughing at my jokes, asking me for help with the assignments, complimenting me. After a few days, she asks what I’m doing after class; she needs to do a favor for her aunt, then we can have dinner and “see what happens.” I’m all over that.
I drive her to her aunt’s house. She introduces me to another guy that’s already there, and tells him I’m there to help. He shows me what we’re doing, replacing a flight of stairs going up to her kitchen door (the ground floor was the garage and storage). Never done anything like this, but she’s hot, so I’m game. She disappears after we get started.
About 30 minutes in, we’ve got the stairs assembled (it was a kit, and the other guy knew what he was doing), and wrestle it into place. We hadn’t spoken too much beyond instructions, so I ask “so how do you know Julie,” thinking he’s a cousin or something.
“Oh, we’ve been dating for about a year.” I freeze, he looks at me. “Oh, shit, man, I’m sorry. I thought you were just a friend from school. She’s done this before, but she promised me she’d stop.” He goes on a little about how she likes to manipulate guys to prove she’s still “got it.” At one point he says “I’d leave her, but the sex is incredible;” I make some remark about twisting the knife, and we both have a laugh over it. He was actually pretty cool about it and insisted I take $60 for helping.
She came back with McDonalds for me. Drove home alone. She hardly spoke to me in class after that, which was fine with me. Any time I saw her flirting with a guy after that, I’d quietly warn them off.
Girl was bored with me, sees an old flame of hers by the bar, and within about twenty minutes, they were making out. I was standing right there.
I had just been fired from my job, moved back in with my parents, and hadn’t been on a date with a woman in months.
Not exactly the highlight of my life.
Went on a date with a girl. Got talking about each other’s family. She found out my surname was the same as a well known former terrorist. Asked if I was related in a joking manner.
In a deadpan reply I said “We don’t talk about Uncle Johnny”. She immediately excuses herself saying she needed the toilet before I can drop my serious face, never returns. I finish my meal and just leave the cash on the table.
Went on a date with a wealthy bigger woman who was used to getting her way with men. We had become friends over the past few weeks due to mutual friends and hanging out at social gatherings.
She asked me to go drinking with her, so I said sure! When we got to this little hole in the wall bar, I was then introduced to all her drinking friends. I’m assuming the people that frequent this bar. Anyway, she started trying to aggressively make out with me in front of her friends and talk about how shy I was being. After I told her I didn’t feel comfortable she then, in front of the whole bar, yells, “HOW MUCH WEIGHT DO I NEED TO LOSE FOR YOU TO DATE ME.”
I got the impression I was no longer welcome at the bar, if everyone’s looks could kill, I would have died 100 times. I left quickly.
A girl reached out to me for a date. When she came to the date, she showed up, waved at me, left, then called me. Apparently she had put me in her phone as someone else and scheduled the date with me thinking I was that other person.
We ate together anyway.
In college I went out for a going away party for a friend. There, I met some chick that a bunch of my friends know. We got pretty trashed, and had fun. Did shots. Danced. Did shots. Sang karaoke. Did jagerbombs. Chatted while smoking cigarettes on the patio. Did shots. Smoked a bowl on the patio. Drank beers. Did more shots. Really liked each other.
So we exchanged numbers before leaving, and said we’d go out next week. Now, 20 minutes after leaving i literally passed out and landed on my face, because i was fucking trashed. So I was in prime condition this night. This girl knew I liked to party. (As only college kids can, and horrifies me now- how did I survive?!)
So, next week comes, and we line up a date. Since we don’t know each other super well, we’ll go to that same bar, where a bunch of mutual friends will be. We sit with them on the patio, and we chat. She’s cute. But, that’s all she has going for her. I find out we are absolute polar opposites. Her dad’s a preacher, and she loves Jesus, and she doesn’t like art, and she’s waiting for marriage, and she doesn’t like fishing, and hunting is cruelty, and the outdoors are icky, and I’m getting one word answers saying she doesn’t like anything I talk about, while she doesn’t even try to make conversation. It’s so awkward that our mutual friends are bailing, shifting further and further away from us, until there are only three of us left in our section and everyone else is on the other side of the patio.
After about 45 minutes, I decide I’m going to need like 8 more drinks to make it through this. I ask if she needs another drink, and go inside to the bar. While I’m waiting, I say, “nope, fuck it.” And I leave. I bail right out the back door. I don’t even care, I don’t say goodbye, I just leave. And delete her number from my phone on the way out. I stagger to a friend’s house, explain that I was on the shittiest date ever, and proceed to get blackout drunk.
Three days later, a mutual friend who we’ll call Kevin says, “man, that date was pretty brutal, but it wasn’t right how she treated you.” “I know man, right?” “Yeah. I can’t believe you went to get her another drink, and she left before you got back. That was really shitty.”
That’s right. This date went so poorly we both bailed without telling the other person, and neither of us ever tried to contact the other one again.
This just might be the worst first date in history for that woman, and I hope that guy got what’s coming to him…
I met a guy on tinder, we talked for awhile and finally got up the nerve to invite him over. I made it very clear that this was like a meet and greet there would be no sex there would be no sleeping over. So he gets there and when he comes in he looks nothing like his pictures a strange flat faced balding ginger. He had an open cider drink and kept badgering me to taste it (personal experience said no) and didn’t take no very well. That was strike one. Then he stepped back out to the car and bought in and overnight bag a blanket and pillow and started unloading all his pocket stuff onto my table. Strike two. And when I finally think it can’t get any worse he goes in my bedroom and changes the Simpsons to some cheesy eighties B horror movie and makes himself at home in my bed. At this point I’m panicking I send out a 911 text to my sister and she calls me with an “emergency” I tell him I’ve got to go and he gives me a creepy grin and asks if he can stay till I get back…umm hell no homie gtfo. I watch him get in his car I get in mine and I peel out still on the phone with my sister i wait up the road in a hidden cut for about twenty minutes come back to the house and he’s still fucking there standing outside my door holding that full bottle of cider that he kept trying to force me to drink. I’m freaking out he’s seen me pull back in and is walking up to the car asking if we were going back in the house hell no fuck shit hell no. Long story short he refused to leave and I had to call the cops when he realized i was calling the cops he chucked the cider into the treeline behind our parking spots and took off running. The car he was driving was stolen and when they tested the contents of the cider bottle..rohypnol and morphine. In the trunk of the car was duck tape a hammer and a bracelet that had been stolen off of a woman that had been drugged and raped a year prior.
Alright, bros, if you’ve got anything that can top this I invite you to send them to us in the comments down below! You can also ready many more of these stories by clicking over to the full AskReddit thread by following any of the links above. In the meantime though, I want to make sure that ALL OF YOU know about the all new BroBible iOS app that was launched last week. It’s 100% free to download and it’s the latest/greatest way to get all of your BroBible content, so DOWNLOAD IT FOR FREE BY CLICKING HERE!