Bills Legend Andre Reed Delivers Glorious Unintentional Self-Burn When Taking Joy In Patriots Loss

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Hypothetical Time: Imagine you, by the power vested in you by a divine power, were capable of bedding the most beautiful people in popular culture–Gal Gadot, Margot Robbie, Beyonce, Gary Busey.

Now imagine that as soon as the lights go out and your tighty whiteys come off, your sex organs shut down faster than an American Eagle Outfitters in Tehran. Goes irredeemably limp. Your brain absolutely incapable of talking any sense into it.

Busey leaves disappointed.

Do you:

A.) Take pride in the fact that you were able to charm Hollywood royalty enough for the opportunity for insertion.
B.) Suffer endlessly knowing that you squandered all your opportunities and whiffed on everlasting glory.

The ultimate dilemma. I don’t even know if there’s a right answer, but I know what Andre Reed’s answer is: Option A. 

For those who need a quick refresher: the Buffalo Bills became (and still is) the only NFL team to appear in four straight Super Bowls in the early 90s. They are also the only team to ever lose four straight Super Bowls, with the later two getting brutalized by the Cowboys by a combined score of 82-30.

Keep in mind, Andre posted this HOURS after the Bills were bounced from the Wild Card by the Texans after being up 9 points.

No disrespect to Andre Reed–who is a Hall of Famer, a legend, and a man who does good work at the Andre Reed Foundation–but as the youths say, “this ain’t it.” We’ll chalk this up to a loose.

Before I let unfulfilled people on Twitter slander the Reed’s great name, let’s remember how good he was.

Ok, now back to the shit take.

Bills fans are still hungover and grieving. And now they have to log onto Twitter to defend themselves against four new losses. I don’t know how much more a fanbase can take before residents start jumping on tables from a 14th floor balcony.

[h/t Total Pro Sports]

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Matt’s love of writing was born during a sixth grade assembly when it was announced that his essay titled “Why Drugs Are Bad” had taken first prize in D.A.R.E.’s grade-wide contest. The anti-drug people gave him a $50 savings bond for his brave contribution to crime-fighting, and upon the bond’s maturity 10 years later, he used it to buy his very first bag of marijuana.