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I’ll never forget January 2011, sitting in my Massachusetts home 0.3 miles from the nearest Dunkin’, stress-drinking cold ones while witnessing the Jets upset the Patriots in the AFC divisional playoff and Bart Scott yelling, directly into my bullseye of my soul, “CAN’T WAIT!”
He took something from me that night. Something that I will never get back. Just kidding, we won the divisional playoff every single year since then so life is fucking great choke on it loser!
But credit where credit is due: Bart Scott has been an admirable heel for Patriots fans, especially seeing as the quarterback to beat him twice in a Super Bowl doesn’t even know he did it. Lets remember a few of Scott’s greatest hits:
- Calling Bill Belichick an “asshole” and a “rude motherfucker” for failing to acknowledge him.
- Taunting Aaron Hernandez about murdering someone when rumors circulated before he actually did.
- Called Tom Brady a “cornball” with a “hot wife.”
If you thought talking about another man’s wife is off-limits, how does STRAIGHT UP LYING sit with you?
Listen to this rubbish he just said on First Things First:
https://twitter.com/FTBeard11/status/1201525115747389440?s=20
There has not been a less true statement made in football since Matt Hasselbeck declared “We’ll take the ball and we’re going to score!” at the overtime coin toss of the NFC Wild Card playoff and proceeded to immediately throw an egregious pick 6 and end his team’s season.
Less than one calendar year ago, the Patriots beat the Chiefs at Arrowhead in overtime and from what I remember the Chiefs are pretty good and their fans are literally the loudest in the world. To hell with this rubbish!
In any event, Barty, I’m glad you exist because you’ve proven to be a worthy flea on the back of a lion. Maybe Tom Brady will sign your tie and give you a pat on the head so you can finally get the love you’re craving and release all that hate from your cold heart.
P.S. Girlfriend is going out with the girls tonight and I got a full bottle of hand lotion and high-speed internet.
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