Are you using your bathroom scale to judge your fat loss success?
Have you been dieting but noticed that the scale isn’t moving? What if that piece of shit has actually shown you gaining weight?
For any bro looking to lean out for summer, the scale can feel like the biggest cock blocking bitch in the world.
You want to see solid weight loss but this plastic hunk of junk has other plans.
What’s the big deal?
There are countless variables that cause fluctuations in scale weight.
Excess water from a salty or high carb meal, the food left in your intestines, and even the time of day can influence the number you see.
Your bathroom scale measures your total weight–muscles, bone, water, poop, etc.
What it lacks in telling you is how much actual body fat you’re carrying.
Chuck that damned scale out the window and use one of the methods below to determine how much body fat you have.
How to Measure Body Fat Percentage
This little machine looks like the prototype for the first Gamecube controller. But this is the one of the cheapest and easiest ways to measure your body fat. It puts the power right in your hands.
Bioelectrical Impedance works by shooting tiny electrical pulses through the body.
The device then measures the amount of time it takes for those impulses to return.
Your body fat will slow down the movement of the impulse. The longer it takes for the pulse to return, the more body fat you have.
These will cost you anywhere from $20-$35 at any supplement store or on Amazon.
In Thor: The Dark World there is a scene where Natalie Portman’s character gets examined on this weird Asgardian machine.
The machine scans her body from head to toe diagnosing her affliction.
DEXA scans operate in the same manner as this Asgardian magic machine.
Like a sheet of paper in a copier, you’ll lie on a table and have different types of X-Rays shot into your body.
It’s safe, Bro, don’t worry.
Sensors in the machine determine how well your body absorb the X-rays. This is how your body’s composition is determined.
DEXA scans provide a larger picture of your fat deposits and provide a better sign of how much lean mass you’re carrying.
Ever wanted to feel like Luke floating in a strange water tank like in Empire Strikes Back?
If so, then you’d enjoy hydrostatic weighing.
Hydrostatic weighing first, measures your body weight dry. Then you’re dunked into a giant tub of water, where your weighed once again underwater.
After your weigh-ins, a super smart bro will use fancy math formulas to determine the volume of water you displaced. These formulas calculate your lean body mass.
This machine looks like a giant dinosaur egg.
Similar in concept to hydrostatic weighing, BOD Pods, use air to measure your body fat.
After you enter the pod, in what looks like super small swim trunks, the Pod fills with air. Your body fat is determined by the amount of air your body displaces.
The doctor administering this test,will then use his super smart bro brain. He’ll plug your bodies density into a few formulas to determine your body composition.
These were the standard for personal trainers and doctors for years.
Calipers pinch the skin around certain points of the body to determine your body fat.
Men get measured at the abdomen, chesticles (pecs), and thigh.
Women take measurements at the triceps, thigh, and abdomen.
Once you have the measurements from those sites. You can visit sites like this one or this one. Plug your caliper measurements in and voila you’ll have your body fat percentage.
Quick note on calipers:
If you’re doing this by yourself, take at least 2-3 measurements of each point to make sure you’re as close as possible to the exact number.
US Navy Standard
This method is by far the cheapest and most non-intrusive. The US Navy measures body fat by taking measurements of three distinct areas of the body using a tailors tape.
All you need for this method is your weight, height, and the measurements at your waist, navel, and narrowest part of your neck.
Plug your numbers into this calculator here to determine your body fat percentage.
The Fat Truth
Be aware that some of these methods have higher error rates than others. Each one could give you a different outcome.
Like the scale don’t let body fat measurement overtake your life. Don’t stress about it as somedays it too can fluctuate. Keep yourself sane and measure once every 4-6 weeks.
Maintain your focus on lifting more weight, hitting your nutrition, and getting plenty of sleep. Nail those and the body fat will come off.