Bill Belichick Says He Didn’t Know Andrew Luck Retired When Asked By A Reporter At Monday’s Press Conference

Unless you are Amish, just woke up from a coma 60 seconds ago, or are in solitary confinement in state prison, it is physically impossible for you to have not have heard about Andrew Luck retiring.

I mean, my mother was even in the know and she thinks the Browns are what I contract after eating her taco dip.

It is currently Monday, August 26, 2019, nearly two days since Luck announced his retirement from the NFL at age 29. Bill Belichick, whose Patriots do not play the Colts this season and therefore do not exist, was allegedly just hearing about the news that shook the sports world.

“Yeah, he’s a good player. I didn’t see that, but I don’t really follow them. We all have to make our decisions. He made his. I respect it.”

Hey Bill, Andrew Luck retiring is like the Two Girls, One Cup video. You don’t see it, it sees you.

If only Belichick closed today’s press conference by sending his condolences to the loved ones of Robin Williams for their recent loss, my week would already be made by Monday.

Would this scenario be the greatest in professional sports history?…

Unrelated, but entertaining. Here is Bill Belichick nearly taking the head off of CBS Boston’s Steve Burton for daring to ask a question about Josh Gordon.

Never change, Bill. You tight-lipped fuck.