Bullfighter Returns After Getting Gored In Neck To Defeat The Bull. Just Kidding, He Was Almost Decapitated Again

You guys know the old adage: ‘Get gored in the neck once, shame on the bull. Get gored in the neck twice, dude fucking retire, animals hate you.’

David posted about  the original incident back in May, when Matador Jimenez Fortes got a neck full of bull horn, and had to be airlifted to the hospital with wounds in his neck and stomach, where he was reportedly in ‘grave condition.’

Well, Jimmy Fortes made a full recovery and thought the best plan of action three months after almost getting decapitated was to face the beast again.

Aaaaaand it didn’t go so well.

Fortes suffered nearly the exact same injury, requiring hospitalization, and most likely emotional therapy.

In the bull’s defense, he did what any rational human being would do if they were getting stabbed with spikes by a guy dressed up as a Brazzer’s version of Prince Charming: he recognized his opponents weakness and exposed it. You mess with the bull, you get the horns. Expressions come from somewhere, and this dude just became its poster boy.

When you trying to get a quick whack off in, but your roommate walk in.

Your roommates face when he walk in on you waxing your kielbasa.

Another angle:

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[h/t Complex]

Matt Keohan Avatar
Matt’s love of writing was born during a sixth grade assembly when it was announced that his essay titled “Why Drugs Are Bad” had taken first prize in D.A.R.E.’s grade-wide contest. The anti-drug people gave him a $50 savings bond for his brave contribution to crime-fighting, and upon the bond’s maturity 10 years later, he used it to buy his very first bag of marijuana.