The Chicago Bears Making Their QBs Dodge Yoga Balls Proves That They’re Ready To Ramp Up Preseason Training

Has the Chicago Bears QB coaching staff gotten drunk in the back office and watched Dodgeball: A True Underdog Story one too many time for their own good? Maybe. You tell me.

Maybe the Bears actually went out and hired Patches O’Houlihan. I have no proof, but I also have no proof saying that they didn’t do that. “If you can dodge a yoga ball, you can dodge a professional defenseman who is rushing at you.” Sounds like decent logic to me. It’s like playing video games. If you can drive a car in GTA, you can totally drive one in real life. It’s pretty much the exact same thing. Honestly, I’m not sure how Bears’ fans do it. They’ve had eight losing seasons since 2000. Sure, nestled in there are four trips to the playoffs that included two Divisional playoff wins and one trip to the Super Bowl, but I’m not sure if it all evens out. I mean, do four trips to the postseason make up for a 121-127 decade record? For me it wouldn’t. And now, to quell the fears of fans, they’re rolling yoga balls at their quarterbacks to prepare them for a blitz by professional defensemen. That makes sense. Can’t wait to see how this one pays off in spades come this season.