The Cleveland Indians Just Unveiled The Most Heinous Hotdog In American History, I Still Want To Eat It
We’re like one massive (two-day) hangover away from MLB opening day, so close I can practically taste the stale peanuts and flat beer. I thought we were done with Major League Baseball programs unveiling this year’s gut busting ballpark food creations when the Atlanta Braves unveiled the ‘Burgerizza’, a bacon cheeseburger served between two pepperoni pizzas. I was wrong, there’s more to come.
The Cleveland Indians just unveiled a ‘slider hotdog’ featuring Mac N Cheese, bacon, and froot loops because the bathrooms at ballparks aren’t already smelly enough with the pungent odor of beer farts. This is not an April Fool’s Joke, this is 100% real and the Cleveland Indians will be serving this at their ballpark this season:
I thought it was an April Fool’s joke but quickly discovered it is not. Happy Dog is real. They’ve got two locations in Cleveland where they serve hot dogs with a variety of toppings. Some of them are new takes on classic hot dog add-ons (white beer cheese fondue, French Brie), others are more out-of-the-box (SpaghettiOs, chunky peanut butter, Froot Loops).
As gross as it sounds I still want to eat it. I imagine that the Froot Loops somehow give it a fun texture, similar to putting potato chips on a hotdog (Colombian style). The rest of the slider hotdog is pretty standard, and if I find myself in Cleveland this year I’ll certainly be ordering myself one.
Progress Field image courtesy of Shutterstock