— Joel Dillis (@Jdill55) April 23, 2016
When I was a kid, I was taught to do it the RIGHT way–put the hand in the cookie jar, hold the follow through, see the ball in the basket, and praise be to God in the postgame interview. And look at the success that formula has brought me: a whole 2 weeks of Division III college basketball and my father’s lifelong disappointment in my athletic achievements. If this kid stands a chance at wearing a hand-me-down jersey from a college no ones ever heard of and playing in front of 16 unenthused fans, he’s gotta surrender to an attitude adjustment. Plus, no one likes the asshole who doesn’t crash the boards. Unless you’re, ya know…
[h/t Deadspin]