The Arizona Diamondbacks Are Selling A 3,540 Calorie Sundae That Costs More Than Your Mother For A Night

The average male in his mid-20s should take in about 2,000 calories a day, according to a very quick Google search. But the Arizona Diamondbacks don’t play by your rules, quick Google search. This is evident in the 3,540 calorie, 2 pound Triple Play Sundae they are introducing to fans tonight.

The sundae contains 15 ingredients and costs a totally reasonable $25, or roughly the price of a 30 rack of Coors. Sorry about that comment about your mother in the headline, bro. No hard feelings.

This seems like a shameless attempt by the D-backs to try to make its fans forget that their team currently resides in the basement of the NL West. So instead of leaving the stadium sad, fans will leave the stadium sad, broke, and with shit running down their leg.

Apparently stuffing an 8-inch D-bat dog down their fans throats wasn’t enough of a distraction.

[h/t FTW]

Matt Keohan Avatar
Matt’s love of writing was born during a sixth grade assembly when it was announced that his essay titled “Why Drugs Are Bad” had taken first prize in D.A.R.E.’s grade-wide contest. The anti-drug people gave him a $50 savings bond for his brave contribution to crime-fighting, and upon the bond’s maturity 10 years later, he used it to buy his very first bag of marijuana.