Fox Sports Host Doug Gottlieb’s Andrew Luck Retirement Take Was So Bad That His Own Wife Chirped Him On Twitter

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Fox Sports radio host Doug Gottlieb won the Twitter Ratio Award this past weekend when, in the wake of Andrew Luck abruptly retiring at age 29, he tweeted this:

Now, I’m not going to sit here from my golden keyboard and claim that Gottlieb’s take is the worst Andrew Luck take in the past 48 hours, because it’s far from it. The worst takes are the people who think Luck deserves a Nobel Prize for retiring, that he’s some sort of virtuous trailblazer who kicked down the retirement door when everyone else was too afraid. Fuck those people.

With that said, Gottlieb, a guy who weighs 102 pounds soaking wet and whose highest athletic achievement was being the number one pick in the now defunct United States Basketball League, was the wrong guy to say it.

That is why people from all corners of the sports world ravished Gottlieb for his tweet. Damien Woody called it “dumb shit.” Jamil Smith told Gottlieb to “shut the fuck up.” Torrey Smith may have had the hardest-hitting response when he tweeted, “You stole credit cards because working was ‘too hard,'” in reference to Gottlieb’s charges for credit card theft in 1996 when he was accused of spending $950 on sporting goods, jewelry, gas and dinners at restaurants with three credit cards he stole. He was subsequently expelled from Notre Dame.

Troy Aikman has recently entered the ring, and he’s pissed.

The true measure of a bad take is when your partner, who vowed to be with you through sickness, health, and shitty opinions, joins the crusade against you.

“But honey, it’s high in potassium and Vitamin A, and it’s good for my widdle bones. Now put a gag in my mouth, bend me over, and spank me with a paddle like the bad boy I am.”

Matt Keohan Avatar
Matt’s love of writing was born during a sixth grade assembly when it was announced that his essay titled “Why Drugs Are Bad” had taken first prize in D.A.R.E.’s grade-wide contest. The anti-drug people gave him a $50 savings bond for his brave contribution to crime-fighting, and upon the bond’s maturity 10 years later, he used it to buy his very first bag of marijuana.