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Do you want to go to Super Bowl LII but don’t have money for lunch, never mind tickets to the most prestigious sporting event on the planet? Fear not, my friend. I have a last ditch effort that 40 percent of the time works 100 percent of the time.
All you have to do is take a large bong rip, stuff some cotton balls in your mouth, break into a dentist’s office, and start rambling about your love for sport. Have someone film it and that shit will go viral faster than you can say ‘If I tried to kiss my dad the way Tom Brady’s son kissed him, he’d put me up for adoption.’
Your team’s front office will catch wind of the video and as a public relations stunt, will send you and a guest to Super Bowl LII, hotel, airfare, the whole cha-bang. Welcome to 2018, viral-ity it more valuable than currency.
You want your video to resemble something like this Eagles’ fan who just woke up after being under anesthesia for wisdom teeth surgery (allegedly). Highly entertaining.
I laughed out loud when her mother urged her to tell the Eagles how much she wants them to win and her reply was “How am I going to tell them mom? I don’t have their telephone numbers.” Logical.
For real though, if you got a video like this, send it to me and we’ll get it viral. It’s a Hail Mary, but it’s worth a shot.
[h/t For The Win]