Earl Thomas Gets Clowned After His 2017 Comments About Tom Brady Backfire Spectacularly

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Tom Brady probably wouldn’t give me a lick of his avocado soft serve if I was withering away in the desert, but I will go to my grave fighting the narrow-minded mouth breathers who attribute two decades of unprecedented success to circumstance, soft footballs, or when we’re really scraping the bottom of the barrel:

“BrO, YoU’rE JuSt LuCkY!”

[Related: When Will The Tom Brady Slander End?]

In January 2017, two years after Brady surpassed Joe Montana’s career Super Bowl touchdowns record in a win over his Seahawks, Earl Thomas made the claim that Brady’s success can solely be attributed to the AFC East’s incompetence.

Thomas was correct in the AFC East historically being warmed over cat shit (even though it had a better aggregate record than Thomas’ NFC West in the past decade), but he probably never expected his theory to be tested three years later, as Brady is on the brink of leading the Bucs to its first Super Bowl appearance in 18 years. 

We must diligently expose bad takes for our children to live in a better, more honest world.

Since uttering this nonsense, Thomas’ Hall of Fame career has taken a toilet dive.

  • In 2018, he flipped the bird mid-game to Pete Carroll after getting injured while in a contract dispute.
  • This past season, he was let go by the Ravens for fighting Chuck Clark during a training practice, showing up to practice only when he felt like it, and generally being a toxic locker room guy.
  • Thomas was also bagged by his wife who allegedly caught him and his own BROTHER in bed with another woman. She then reportedly held a gun to his head.

But Brady is trash because he plays the Bills twice a year. Who may also go to the Super Bowl this year.


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Matt’s love of writing was born during a sixth grade assembly when it was announced that his essay titled “Why Drugs Are Bad” had taken first prize in D.A.R.E.’s grade-wide contest. The anti-drug people gave him a $50 savings bond for his brave contribution to crime-fighting, and upon the bond’s maturity 10 years later, he used it to buy his very first bag of marijuana.