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Why anyone would want to be a public figure this day and age is beyond me.
You literally die a hero (Elvis) or live long enough to become the villain (Cosby). This is precisely why I chose to be a fringe blogger who seasonally fluctuates in weight to avoid being recognized and held accountable for all the half-informed takes and false bravado I’ve projected on this digital hellscape.
Urban Meyer is the ultimate microcosm of this point. How many stories can we squeeze out of a consensual bar grind? The answer, according to the media, is infinity.
Seth from Superbad was right: People really don’t forget, and the internet has become little more than a database of receipts for all our moments of weakness.
I typically don’t like to fan the flames of this toxicity, but funny is funny, and by God do I have a treat for you today.
LSU Coach Ed Orgeron, who’s already on the hot seat after going 8-7 since winning the national championship in 2019, was put in an extremely awkward position fielding calls on the Ed Orgeron Show this morning when a seemingly innocent caller flipped the switch real fast.
Should've called a timeout Coach… pic.twitter.com/RUPlDgZ8OR
— The Jordy Culotta Show (@CulottaShow) October 7, 2021
Caller: Before I get to my call about special teams, I have to be an embarrassing big brother real quick. My little sister is in attendance there tonight celebrating her 20th birthday. Can you wish her a happy birthday?
Coach O: Happy 20th birthday! What’s her name?
Caller: Bebe. Little Bebe, that’s what we call her.
Coach O: That sounds like a familiar name I know. Happy birthday, Bebe!
Caller: She is a little blonde headed girl so, O, try not to have sex with her and put it on—[call cut]
After a moment of severe anxiety, Coach O chimed in with a threat on the man’s life.
“I’m going to say something right now. Down in the Bayou, we have a nice little fishing hole for people like that.”
Lest we not forget, in October 2020, six months after divorcing his wife of 23 years, a photo of Coach O in bed with a younger woman saturated the internet.
Coach O won that championship got a divorce and turnt up pic.twitter.com/MERclfKWMf
— Real Name: Grover (@DontrellChillis) October 21, 2020
How it started. How it’s going. pic.twitter.com/mxMl1rdBVv
— Hunter Letson (@HunterLetson) October 21, 2020
The internet does not forget. There should be entire college courses teaching this lesson alone.